So, as I mentioned on Friday that the family Smith-Forrest took advantage of the long bank holiday weekend by piling into the car and heading due East. Destination: Cleethorpes.
*
I have never been to the North-East Lincolnshire town before and held an uninformed, vaguely negative view of its charms. This was entrenched by reports from Andrew and Michelle after they spent a little time there.
Gemma has been quite a few times, particularly when she was younger. Her nan owned a static caravan there, and has recently bought another at the Beachcomber Holiday Park. So we though we'd take advantage and spend a couple of nights there; a journey of discovery for me (and Olive) and a trip down memory lane for Gemma.
So, this 'Cleethorpes' then, what is it exactly. I knew it was at the seaside in the same way Weston-Super-Mare is at the seaside; it is in fact nestled on the tidal banks of the Humber. It comprises of the merged 'thorpes', or villages, of Itterby, Oole and Thrunscoe. Clee is apparently an old word for clay. It eecked it's way in the world for many of years as a fishing village, and as recently as the early 19th century there were just a couple of hundred residents. Then, as was so often the case, the arrival of the railway changed Cleethorpe's fortunes and set it on the tourist part. No-one of note comes from Cleethorpes (unless you know different).
The motorway doesn't quite reach here, and to get to the town you have to pass through Grimsby. From what I saw, Grimsby is aptly named. Perhaps this is a ploy by Cleethorpes to sparkle next to it's industrial neighbour. If so, it worked. I didn't take an instant dislike to the place, which I was quite willing to do at the slightest provocation. We quickly found the caravan site and parked up at our temporary and very friendly tin home. Gemma's nan, and her dog Basil, were there to greet us.



After lunch we headed straight back into town. We were pleasantly surprised to find ourselves in the middle of a kite festival, complete with food stalls but lacking in wind. We ambled along the front towards the pier, and Olive had a quick play on the beach (the water here was a bit smelly though, so we didn't hang around).






Next day we decided not to bother with near-by Pleasure Island. Instead, we took the path to the right of the theme park and arrived at a wind-swept and somewhat isolated railway station. Humberston is the new Southern extremity of the Cleethorpes Coast Light Railway, which travels two miles to the back of the leisure centre (and actually quite near to the start of the front, so its not too useless).
The 15-inch gauge tracks didn't allow for generous room in the carriages, but we all managed to squeeze into one with sides and a roof, and presently we arrived at our destination. We repeated the previous days' route, and had some fried rice for lunch, before veering into 'town' to see what shops were to be had (answer: not many).



Then it started to spit a little, so we headed home with a little help from the land train.
After tea we walked to the Starlight Club, the on-site Phoenix-style venue, as Gemma's nan was convinced that some kind of bear character was due to make an appearance 'for the children'. The Ursidae did not show, and instead we were subjected to a demented game of musical statues for the children. When the music stopped, it stayed stopped whilst an entertainments girl who sounded like a young Lauren Laverne got into the faces of the frozen participants and tried to make them laugh. The procedings were very annoying and I was glad of the chance to take Olive to her bed, leaving the ladies to an hour of bingo.
On bank holiday Monday it rained. heavily. All day. We stayed in the caravan until after lunch, then went home.
In fact, we all had a really enjoyable time, and we'll definitely be using the caavan in Cleethorpes as a holiday base in the future.
*Most of the vintage LNER posters claim getting to Cleethorpes is 'quicker by rail'. Today, it isn't. The AA website states a distance of 80 miles from Leeds and a travel time of a little of one-and-a-half hours. Trainline.com says that the only route is via Doncaster and generally takes over two hours, though one early morning connection can get you there in one hour fifty.