Amateur Ramblings

A Lucky Escape!

So, we've had our house on the market for a little over twelve months. During that time we've had minimal interest. As you most likely know, the UK housing market has been pretty much broken for the last few years.

We were originally with Jane Earl, an Internet-based estate agent who charged a much lower (though up-front) fee than would a traditional agent. Turns out she charged too little, as she announced at the end of last year that she would need to wind up the business due to financial losses. Honourably, she arranged to continue our online listing through another company, Emove.

We had only recently talked about that fact that, despite our twelve months being up, our house was still showing online. Then Gemma had an email from one Beth Rodwell, head of Property Sales at Emove:

Hi Gemma,

Your agreement with Jane Earl expired on 29.03.2012 therefore we have now fulfilled our initial commitment to you. Would you like to renew your listing with us for a further 12 months for a reduced fee of £199?

I have someone who would like to view.

Kind regards,

Beth Rodwell

Mmm. What a pleasant email. It's no-nonsense, to the point, and will you look at that, Beth has only garnered some interest in our house. But blast it to the moon, we must renew our contract before we get to meet the interested party. Gemma replied:

Beth,

We will not be renewing the service at this time, but as we paid for 12 months with the estate agency and had no viewings in that time we would be very grateful if you could send the clients our way.

Gemma

Beth soon wrote back:

Gemma,

I am afraid I cannot do that. Infact we should have removed your listing on 29.03.2012 and if we had of done then we would not have generated the 2 viewing enquiries that we had today. You may have paid Jane Earl a listing fee and had no viewings up until now, however that is neither their fault nor ours, it is down general market conditions. The market has picked up now and I am confident that we can sell your property for you.

We have offered you a service for FREE over the last 4-5 months and we have manually generated you weekly reports and handled a few viewing enquiries which uses the time of our administration charges. I am afraid that unless you are willing to re-list with us at the extremely discounted rate offered then I will have to remove your listing with immediate effect. If you chose to instruct a local agent and you attract the same viewers or any viewer through them I can assure you that you will pay a lot more than £199 for a sale.

Kind regards,

Beth Rodwell

What was wrong with us, thinking that Beth worked for some kind of charity? How selfish of us! And how mean it was to suspect, even for one moment, that Beth might be inventing some interest to entice us into renewing with her company. We are bad people, and I just had to let Beth know how sorry I was:

Hi Beth.

Tom here, Gemma's partner. Gemma kindly forwarded me your email, as I wanted the opportunity to reply.

Thank you everso for clarifying the position regarding the two viewing enquiries you say you have had. I agree this interest is a clear sign that the property market is now picking up. I guess I have been foolish to have listened to the general predictions of a fall in UK house prices of between 2% and 12% in 2012. I am sad that we will now never get to meet these potential buyers; it is such a shame that they foolishly timed their interest badly.

I was sorry to learn that you suffered the inconvenience (not to mention the expense) of having to deal with the two recent enquiries, especially as you did us the favour of forgetting to remove our listing at the end of March. This is on top of the cost of the weekly reports, not to mention the 'other viewing enquiries' (we recall only one enquiry, but no viewing came of this; our failing memories must be to blame for our failure to recollect the other buyers you sent our way). This is particularly troubling to my conscience because, as you note in your email, you have generously offered us a service for FREE (your caps) over the last few months. Who says philanthropy is dead? Not I. We regret the disappointment our custom has clearly caused, and I apologise for your decision to take on the remainder of the Jane Earl contract. Why, we didn't even ask you to take us under your wing! I just know that you did it out of the goodness of your collective hearts.

You are correct; if we sold our house through a local estate agent we would for sure pay significantly more than the £199 fee you have proposed. I suppose we must find crumbs of comfort in the fact that the local estate agent will charge their fee only if they successfully sell the property.

Whilst tempted by your kind invitation (Gemma thought it to be a tad passive-aggressive, but I wouldn't hear of it), I feel that we cannot accept the offer to renew for another period of twelve months. We have been such poor customers that I would not wish for a second to jeopardise your company's prosperity. I fear that if we were to renew, you would surely be calling in the receivers within a few short months.

Thank you once again for all of your hard work.

Tom Smith.

I can only hope that we can be forgiven, but I fear that we are surely going to hell.

Doing it myself

The first pram we bought was a Quinny, a Buzz 3 model. Olive has long-since been upgraded to a stroller-style pushchair, and it has recently been on loan to Deb, Neil and Lucas.

Whilst in their custody the mechanism to raise the height of the handle failed. We've now had the Quinny back but plan to loan it out again soon, this time to one of Neeley's expecting friends.

So, we've looked into getting the handle repaired. Gemma found that the manufacturers would charge us £72. But, as Daddy Pig would say, I'm a bit of an expert at fixing things. So I thought i'd give it a go.

After removing the plastic cladding on the handle I immediately found the cause of the trouble: cable breakage. I also established that I would definitely need to detach the whole handle to gain access to its inner workings, but even this apparently simple procedure proved confounding. It was only when I searched online for help that I stumbled across the following vital assistance:

Handle now removed, I found that the end of the cable featured a bespoke end-piece to secure it in its fixing. So I fired of an email to Quinny, in the hope that they might be willing to sell me a cable in return for money. I received the following miserly reply:

I'm afraid the cables inside the handle on the Quinny Buzz are not available therefore the complete handle will need to be replaced.

As your Buzz is not covered by any warranty there will be a charge of £72 for a full safety inspection and replacement of the handle at our repair centre based in Suffolk which includes the collection of the frame from your home address and also the return. In order to make arrangements for this, please contact our customer care team on 01284 413141 between 8.30am - 4.30pm Monday thru Friday. An advisor will take full details from you and the £72 charge and provide you with a reference number. This needs to be clearly marked on the outside of the box that the unit is being returned in so that when it arrives the engineers can match up your unit with the computer record created and get it inspected, repaired, and dispatched back to your address as promptly as possible.

With kind regards,

On behalf of the Quinny team,
Becky Smith

Uh-huh. I understand. You're a business, and your model includes making profits from out-of-warranty repairs to your products. Fine. But don't forget, I'm a DIY 12th dan, a repair ninja, with a masters in mending from the University of Recycling, Reconstruction and Restoration.

I sourced a new cable of appropriate thickness and a pack of 'Crimp Connector Butts' (me neither) that I figured I could use to join two cables together; remember, I would need to use the good end of the existing cable.

I took one of the Crimp Connector Butts and threaded the two cables, which I then cut, allowing sufficient spare length at both ends to make adjustments in case of measuring error. When I was happy with the positioning of the cables I squeezed the Connectors with the wire cutters on my pliers. This created a permanent connection between the two cables.

It was only when I put the handle back together that I found my 'new' single cable to be exactly 3mm too short. This tiny error meant that the catch was permanently depressed, and therefore the handle could only be used properly in its lowest position.

I decided that I would need to buy a second new cable and start again the next day. Fast forward 24 hours, and taking a little more care with my measuring, and I was rewarded with a perfect fit.

After testing, I popped the handle back onto the frame of the pram, and adopted the slightly smug glow of a man who has eaten a little too much Ready Brek.

So, £2.99 spent, £72 saved. Net saving: £69.01

And, as a final action, I have sent a link to this post to Becky Smith. If she reads this she might learn that business is a two-way street, where post-purchase customer care and, dare I say, gestures of goodwill, are important. For want of sending me a part that costs no more than a couple of pounds (a price I was happy to pay), she has most likely lost any future custom we may have considered putting in the direction of Quinny.

Hot Hot Heat

The radiator in our hallway has recently been slowly and quietly oozing an effluent the colour and consistency of treacle. I think it is water seeping through the increasingly rusting valves.

I've been meaning to do something about it for a while, but I was finally spurred to action when I saw a contact on Twitter mention late one evening that their bedroom radiator had burst, causing a fair bit of damage.

So, chest still puffed-up from my recent washing machine fixing exploits, I embarked on some DIY.

The first step I took, this being 2012, was to fire-up the Internet to search the phrase 'how to replace a radiator'. Because, I've never done this before. I figured it couldn't be too hard, and the two video guides I watched seemed to confirm this view. Another search located a replacement radiator of the correct size at Wickes, and for only £20, I was well on the way to another excellent saving.

It was easy to take off the old radiator. Just loosen, bleed, and remove. I did this in 15 minutes. Here I hit my first snag - the old brackets were too high on the wall for the new radiator. "No problem Tom, just go to the cupboard to get your drill...erm, Gemma, where is our drill?" Gemma now reminded my that I had lent it to her sister. Who was at work. Until 7pm. I sent her a message, and two hours later I was able to arrange to get her keys from her and pick up the drill from her flat. Back in business.

Once the radiator was in place, I found that it needed some new valve connectors, you know, to connect the radiator to the valves. The old ones were no good to use, so this necessitated a trip to B&Q. They only sold whole valves, so I had to pay a little more than I wanted, but by now the house had cooled right down and I was keen to get the job finished.

I connected the valves and commenced re-filling. Uh-oh! Both connectors were leaking. I hadn't tightened them nearly enough, and I didn't have the correct tool, a radiator spanner. So, back to B&Q to buy one, plus some sealing tape for good measure.

This time, no drips. Achey success was mine.

Washing Machine lives longer

One evening a couple of weeks ago, we found the washing machine to be in a state of confusion and despair. Full of soapy water, failing to spin, lights flashing, and generally refusing to complete the whites-wash.

It had done this previously, in the summer, but the tried and tested 'turning it off and on again' had been a sufficient repair on that occasion. This time, however, we tried and failed.

Given the prospect of having to call out an engineer, I thought it would be worth checking for a solution on the Internet. After all, you never know. The answer might be a simple fix, within the grasp of my limited technical abilities.

And so it was. It turned out that the particular sequence of flashing lights corresponded to a specific fault. Our machine was suffering form a jammed pressure switch, which was a symptom of a blocked filter. I opened up the Hotpoint WT540 user manual on Gemma's laptop, and decided to give it a go.

Gemma had grave reservations about this; she feared I would get angry and break something. But I kept a cool head, and with some patience and a little elbow grease, managed to drain the machine and remove the filter (shown above, accessible via a removable panel, removable by turning anti-clockwise).

I had to use a baking tray to catch the draining water, which took ages (and filled one-and-a-half standard washing-up bowls), then struggled for some time to free the filter. The cause of the problem is illustrated below:

£1.57 in chemically-scarred coins, a flower button, a label, and (not shown) a significant amount of sodden lint and fluff. As well as recovering the cash, I guess I've saved around £100 in not having to get an engineer.

Yodel: apparently they are douchebags

As usual, I did most of my Christmas present shopping online. So let me share my experience of the delivery that Amazon entrusted to the new delivery company on the block, Yodel.

One Thursday, a couple of weeks before Christmas, I came home form work to find a delivery card. As we both a work, and the parcel required a signature, it had been taken to the depot. No matter; the card gave me the option of rearranging delivery. As it happened, I had the following Tuesday off, so I set up delivery for then.

Come Tuesday, and Royal Mail had delivered two parcels before 11.30am. City Link faired less well, their adolescent driver turning up at 3.30pm in a hired white van and without an apology for the package they were bring (marked 'fragile' in bold white on orange) being stoved-in at one end.

But at least the contents of that parcel arrived, undamaged. What of Yodel? I went to their website, but the package could not be tracked. Instead I was offered another redelivery date, almost as if they weren't planning on bringing it. I called on their 0870 number but a message said the line was busy, and despite the invitation to 'press 5' to arrange a call back, when I did so the facility was 'not available'. I was not-at-all surprised to learn that Yodel were formally known as Home Delivery Network, the outfit of cowboys who once left a parcel in my back garden during a rainy weekend when I was away from home.

I eventually got through to someone at Yodel around 5pm, on an 0844 number I got from their website. I told the lady who answered that I thought I might be through to the wrong department, but explained my situation. Alas, my call was clearly an impediment to her going home, and she told me abruptly that the office I wanted was in another part of the building. 'Can you get me a call back?' I asked. 'We've no outside lines' was the terse reply offered.

Now, I work in a call centre. In 2011. An office without an outside line is a fiction, often employed by staff who cannot be arsed to help a customer. So I told her to get her manager, and she returned after a couple of minutes agreeing to arrange a callback from the correct office in the next half hour.

A call back came there none.

The next evening I called the 0870 number, getting through only after numerous attempts. The hapless staff member who answered told me he could do nothing but rearrange deliveries. He did apologise, and promised a call back by the next evening.

A call back came there none.

So to try to ensure I got my purchases the right side of Christmas I went online and arranged to collect my package from the depot on the next Saturday. The warehouse was in a state of light chaos when we arrived. Around ten angry men were venting their various problems to a short-tempered staff of two women. The customers were not being rude, but the staff (presumably suffering from working for such a joke company) were being short and unhelpful. One man told of how he was promised his redelivery would be left by his bins. 'That's against company policy' barked the ladystaff. 'That may be', replied the man, 'but that is what I was promised'.

I handed my card to another employwoman, who fetched out what was clearly once a box.

The following exchange then took place:

Me: 'Um, I see that this is a little...squashed.'
Yodel: 'Yeah, that's because there was a bigger box on top of yours.'
Me: 'Right. Is that a good idea, putting bigger, heavier boxes on top of smaller ones?'
Yodel: 'It's Amazon's fault, they don't use strong enough boxes.'

I think I may have laughed in her jaded face, before checking the contents. Finding them to be undamaged, I left before violence ensued between the other angry men and the Yodel staff.

Oh. and I'm still waiting for my call back. And a reply to the restricted-to-1,500-characters online complaint I raised.

Merry Christmas

Hope you're well. I am, although I'm a little bloated from all the Christmas dinners and chocolates I've been eating over the last few days.

I've neglected the blog for a few weeks, but I hope to have a catch-up over the holiday period.

Mo Money, Mo Problem

I'm enrolled in this year's Movember.

This is an annual event in which, by being sponsored to grow a moustache, we men can raise money for awareness of health issues that affect our gender, specifically testicular and prostate cancer. Please be kind and sponsor me here.

Here are some statistics for you to ponder:

• 1 in 9 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
• This year 37,000 new cases of the disease will be diagnosed
• 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime
• 26% of men are less likely to go the doctor compared to women

And here are some useful links:

About Movember
Prostate cancer genome mapping
Prostate Cancer Foundation research
Global Action Plan

I'll be providing updates during the month on my Movember homepage, so hopefully I'll see you there.

No Escape

A photographer friend tweeted me last night to ask 'Eh? Who is this on this search?' He included a link to a Google image search for the phrase 'Thom Yorke Crackington Haven'. Here is what he found:

 

My attention was drawn immediately drawn to the third picture down on the left. IT IS ME!

Clicking through the links reveals that this was a picture used by Sarah in her account of our 2004 holiday to Crackington Haven, a tiny outcrop of civilisation on the North Cornish Coast. It was taken in Rock, a hamlet accessable from Padstow by ferry, and shows me self-papping.*

The Thom Yorke link is that he used to have a house in Crackington, and we got a little obsessed with looking out for him. We actually saw him on one occasion; he was loading a carpet into an estate car. So it might be thought ironic that in 2011, a search for him in Crackington found me.

*Papping is the art of throwing a stone (preferably flat) into mud or sand. Tidal-river mud is best, and the ideal height for releasing the stone would be 10-20ft.

A Social Network

On the advice of Tom Betts, I set up an account with foursquare.

This is another of those newfangled social networking sites. The aim is to 'check in' to the places you visit. If you are the most frequent visitor you can become the 'mayor' of that location. You earn points by checking in, and depending various criteria including number or frequency of check-ins, you are awarded 'badges'.

 

Of course this is load of nonsense, but nevertheless it is (initially at least) highly addictive and fun. See how less than two weeks in and I am already mayor of five locations, including the prestigious B&M Bargains. The bus stop into town on York Road - consider yourself OWNED!

I'm sure that becoming the mayor of a proper location is a little more difficult, but there are actual rewards to be had. For example, there are 20% food and drink discounts available at most of the city centre Wetherspoons' pubs.

Other Events That Have Occurred

We celebrated our birthdays with parties at home this year.

For Gemma's 30th, she wanted a tea party. You'll maybe have seen the invitation I did. Most of our friends could make it, and Gemma spent the days before busy in the kitchen baking. The weather was favourable and a fine time was had by all. A report with pictures can be found on Michelle's blog.

During April we spent a weekend at my mum and dad's in Halesowen. We had the Saturday to ourselves as they were off gallivanting on the Orient Express on a fine dining mystery tour. So we went to Stourport.

I'm not sure why I chose to go to Stourport. In my mind, it is a jaunty little place on the River Severn, with a pleasant funfair and a seaside air. The reality is that this place is like a shard of Blackpool has been tossed carelessly into the Midlands.

It wasn't really that bad. We waited an age for some fish and chips, and then ate these in the park. Then we had a walk and let Olive have a go on the bouncy castle, before sampling the delights of Shipleys Fair. Like I say, it wasn't all that bad. But if you ever hear me suggesting to go to Stourport, please stop me.

The early May bank holiday weekend coincides with my birthday, and I thought that I would chance a barbecue. More often than not it seems that I have been luck with the weather in recent years, and this year kept with tradition. Protected from a slightly chilly wind, our garden is the perfect afternoon suntrap. Due to the proximity to Gemma's party, not as many people could make it. But still a good time was had by those present.

Again, we don't seem to have taken any photographs - must remember to do so in future.