Amateur Ramblings

The antidote to quiz-show hosts

Sad news about Humphrey Lyttleton, who has died aged 86.

Only when I laugh.

Following Charlotte Green's recent on-air corpsing whilst reading the news on Radio 4's Today program, Dan kindly sent me a link to a Guardian article which rounds-up various other live laughing fits on news broadcasts. Although the author, John Plunkett, has essentially earned his fee by going onto YouTube and typing 'giggling newsreaders' into their search, he has uncovered the following gem from Washington DC's NBC4; be aware, the laughing is contagious:

not normal

this morning, my friend steve was telling me that his fiance helen submitted an 'am i normal' to jon richardson (who is currently standing in for russell howard). not one hour later, her admission was read out!

apparently, helen often forgets if she has unplugged her hair straighteners, so she claps her hands when she has done so, as a marker that she has turned off said appliance. but she has recently bee forgetting whether or not she has clapped her hands, so she has started whistling, to remind herself that she has clapped, which indicates that she has turned off the hair straighteners.

jon and guest alan carr concluded that helen is not normal.

help us

i heard the funniest thing on the today program this morning. they ran an article marking the 100th anniversary of the introduction of the sos signal as the international distress call, and they had a morse code expert in the studio to talk a little of the history of the signal. in addition, he was to tap out a morse code message, for listeners to decipher.

i can just imagine the editor's reasoning for including this stunt in the program, and, even as i listened, i could sense the expressions of horror and panic spreading across the faces of the presenters. for as the morse code bleeps passed the one minute mark, i detected uncomfortable shuffling of papers from sarah montague. this was soon followed by alan partridge style attempts at tactful interruption:

'i think, er...right. we're...we're going to have to cut in here...it's either an extremely long message, or you're repeating it over and over'.

the morsist, sounding hurt, protested that it was only 'what they asked him to say'. and with edward stourton chuckling in the background, montague eventually tells him that he he could 'stop it now, that would be lovely'.

you can listen to the whole clip here.

things to see and here

last week saw the start of yet another reality documentary. but this one is the only one that *might* feature my girlfriend. gemma wasn't in last week's first episode, but lots of her colleagues were, including the doctor who sold us our christmas tree last year. the other er is showing on itv1 on thursdays at 11pm.

radio 4 is running a short series called meet the bloggers, which features a number of online diaries which feature in my 'other blogs' list (eyes left). listen to the latest episode here, or tune in on tuesday mornings at a quarter to ten.

*update* the other er is only being shown on yorkshire tv. sorry.

first the worst*

excellent file on 4 program detailing what's wrong with the bus industry today, with focus on first. listen here (until tuesday evening).

*apologies to tom and sarah for appropriating this title

sad news

john peel has died. someone at work told (someone i would never has expected to have heard of him, let alone liked him - shows you shouldn't judge people). only one other person had heard of him, which i thought was sad. his various shows, on radio 1, radio 4, and the world service meant that he will be missed by a wide range of listeners for his familiar warming style and clumsy dj-ing abilities, and of course his thousands of musical discoveries over the years since he first broadcast on wwr in dallas.
fleeting encounters with the remarkable broadcaster: i was driving back from derby, late one night in 1998, and was listening to the peel show, when he played my band's record. i nearly crashed my car, and grinned the rest of the way to leeds. also my brother worked at the aa last summer, and took a call from john ravenscroft (his real name) who had broken down somewhere between the studio and his home.

raging bull

i'm currently enjoying raging bike, a site that allows, amongst other things, users to see how much money or co2 they save each week, or to post incidents that happen, such as this outrageous incident (a similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago; the solicitor that hit me told me she was 'in a hurry'). on the subject of cycling, i completely agree with what rose george says in this article.

i'm looking forward to just a minute later, then on wednesday jeremy hardy has a new series starting.

we had a televisual nostalgia weekend, with paul's brother bringing down fresh supplies of dvd's for his housebound brother. we laughed out loud through episodes of adam and joe, and ever decreasing circles.

what would morrisey be scared of? meat ghosts.

why don't you listen to the 99p challenge?

i can't believe that i just planned a night out based around asda

i listened to a radio show called swing when you're laughing on the way back from leeds on sunday. it was about the links between jazz and comedy, and was very interesting and informative, for instance i didn't know that marty feldman was a fine jazz trumpeter. it appears that i could be on for a run of social eventing. during badminton, sarah and i totally planned our next few days; tomorrow involves meeting at asda, where i will copy dean and by a cool cast iron bbq for £10, and some fizzy water. sarah will buy risotto ingredients. we will eat risotto at hers, then wander down to the industrial museum where, due to an fencing discrepancy, we can watch basement jaxx for free.

whilst walking home from work tonight, i became annoyed at the pavement etiquette, or lack of it, amongst the majority. therefore, if you do vote for me, i will immediately introduce the following rules:

1) the pavement is primarily for walking on. if you are traveling aboard a wheeled vehicle of any description, you must give way to those on foot
2) keep left (this need not apply within 8ft of any shop doorway).
3a) if you are walking with a group, and you meet a group coming the other way, please adopt a single file
3b) as an alternative to the above, you can calculate the pavement allowance fro your group with the aid of the following equation:

100/total number of people in both groups = % pavement allowance

4) do not litter. you all have bins at home
5) try not to let pets foul the footway. if the do, clean up after them. they don't know any better, you do.
6) be courteous. a smile cost nothing, a thank you is free (please note; smiling at or talking to other pedestrians in a city or large town may result in funny looks, or in severe cases, a punch).